the fucking slapping noise is incredible
This is unsettling.
1-800-R-U-SLAPPIN
A round of applause
the fucking slapping noise is incredible
This is unsettling.
A round of applause
psychic: *reads my mind*
my mind: I’M SEXY, I’M CUTE, I’M POPULAR TO BOOT. I’M BITCHIN’, GREAT HAIR, THE BOYS ALL LOVE TO STARE. I’M WANTED, I’M HOT, I’M EVERYTHING YOU’RE NOT. I’M PRETTY, I’M COOL, I DOMINATE THE SCHOOL. WHO AM I? JUST GUESS! GUYS WANNA TOUCH MY CHEST! I’M ROCKIN’, I SMILE, AND MANY THINK I’M VILE. I’M FLYIN’, I JUMP YOU CAN LOOK BUT DON’T YOU HUMP! I’M MAJOR, I ROAR, I SWEAR I’M NOT A WHORE! WE CHEER AND WE LEAD, WE ACT LIKE WE’RE ON SPEED. HATE US ‘CAUSE WE’RE BEAUTIFUL BUT WE DON’T LIKE YOU EITHER WE’RE CHEERLEADERS, YEAH, YEAH CHEERLEADERS - ROLL CALL-
psychic: what the fuck
NOT EVEN FUCKING CLOSE!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE A REST!!! TO DO SOMETHING FUN!!! TO DO ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING!!! IT’S NOBODY’S RESPONSIBILITY TO BE “USEFUL” 24/7!!! GO AHEAD AND CHILL, YOU GLORIOUS RAINBOW STARBIRD!!!
the first ever human to conceptualize a computer was a norse farmer named Eðelgarþ Gusvarþ who had a brief moment of supernatural foresight and imagined a large picture frame you would stare into while using a rock to scroll through pictures of oats. he experienced this thought for only eight seconds until he was instantly killed by an errant farming sickle

41 people are ready for me to gnome this chick
this is my 4th day gnoming her


they set up a camera
the one problem i have with people my age and younger is that a lot of us do not have hands on hobbies. like i have spoken to so many people my age who go to work, go to school and then fuck around on their phone/computer for hours and then ???????? like no wonder ur depressed and have low confidence in urself. u need to get ur hands on something, feed those dopamine receptors! learn how to play guitar, garden, scrapbook, fucking make model trains. i don’t give a shit, MAKE SOMETHING!!
it feels better than drugs when i finish making a thing—and then show it off or gift it.
and then so people my age say to me ‘well—i can’t draw/paint/knit/etc. like you can. my stuff would be terrible.’ yeah, well duh—a part of developing skill is sucking at something and then practicing it over and over and over again until you suck less. u’ll have a hard time feeling lonely or bored when you can’t stop thinking abt a technique you want to try or something you want to make for someone else. making things has SAVED MY LIFE. it gave me a reason to keep living day after day when i wanted to die.
making things have improved my generational relationships (when i worked for the newspaper i would talk to customers abt jamming recipes or cross-stitch, one of my grandmas always gives me pattern books and tell me abt when she knitted things for mom, my other grandma is giving me a wedding quilt that HER grandma gave her 50 years ago because she knows i will appreciate it). it also got me likeminded friends who also make things.
take a ceramics class! pick up water colors, bake cakes! learn to work on cars! make soap. DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE STARING AT A SCREEN.